Saturday night, I was getting ready to go out and I was brushing my teeth. Just as I was molar-deep in foam, the doorbell rang. I was kind of busy, so I ignored it. If it was an emergency -- say, if my house was on fire and the neighbors were ringing to warn me of impending doom -- they'd ring again. If it was just something annoying, like someone asking to borrow flour for a cake, well, I was brushing my teeth, and dental hygiene is important stuff.
The doorbell rang again. Hmm. I didn't smell smoke, but nonetheless, two doorbell rings are two doorbell rings. So with toothbrush in hand, I sauntered over to the window in my bedroom and looked out to see who was ringing the doorbell twice.
Ooh! It was my crazy neighbor with the handmade craft "W" sign in her garden, her personal tribute to our greatest (sic) President ever. When I bought the house, the sign was accompanied by a secondary one that had "STILL President!!" painted on it. So it was a conceptual piece, really. You had the red white and blue "W", with each leg of the W a different color, and the message banner next to it. W...STILL President!! Take that, you silly people who voted for him by accident! Ahahahaha!
Ahem.
We've had our feuds, me and her. She doesn't much like the "Obama 08" sticker on my car, nor the sign in my yard. As for me, I just don't like her, period. But that has more to do with her dog feeling the need to take craps on my front steps periodically than it does disagreement over politics. I can, and in a lot of cases do, get along with people who happen to disagree with me over the way the country ought to be governed. I will 100% Stone Cold Steve Austin hate anyone who takes craps on my front steps. H-A-T-E. Its not really open for discussion. You leave clumps of poo on my steps, I hate you.
So its this lady at the doorbell ringing twice? Interesting. In a moment of madness, I set the toothbrush down on the sink and went to answer the door. I was wearing a Pearl Jam T-shirt with a skull and crossbones design. I had not styled my hair. And I still had foamy toothpaste surrounding my mouth.
Opening the door, I glared at her and yelled, "Maaaad Doggggg! Arrrrrghh! WoooF!"
I don't know why I did it. I do know that with my hair mostly askew, I probably looked like the devil, or like I might actually have been rabid. My inspiration, obviously, was Pee Wee Herman, except my man PW used a much bigger toothbrush and just yelled the line to himself into the mirror. Also, he had a fishtank in the window of his bathroom.
I'm not sure what it was that she wanted, or what was so important that she rang the doorbell twice, because she turned around and went back across the street without saying anything. I'm at a loss as to why that might be. I just can't imagine why she's walk all that way, ring the doorbell twice, and then not say anything. Hmm.
You bet.
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