What does it feel like to find out you've been dumped for another dude on Facebook? Its simple, really. Remember the scene in Temple of Doom where the high priest jabs his fist into the man's chest cavity, yanks out his beating heart, and shows it to the still-alive guy before he dies? That's pretty much how it feels.
Imagine getting emails and texts from people offering condolences on breaking up with someone, and this being news to you. Ouch, right? You bet.
Simply put, it sucks. I felt like a urinal full of bloody vomit, and that's only slightly exaggerating. I would have become a temporary recluse were it not for my boys refusing to let me throw a pity party for myself; the next night, Gilby insisted I meet him at the bar for beers. Dick Herculanum joined in, and we drank $2 PBRs until the bar kicked us out at 1am. It sucks to have your heart broken but $2 PBRs with friends help you get over it a lot quicker.
What does this have to do with X2? Back in 2003, this happened. And then in 2006, this happened. Its a curse, I tell you. Now, my brother does not believe in curses, and has at various times over the years tried to force me into watching X-Men 2 to "break the curse". This despite knowing the history, and knowing what horrible things might happen if I were to attempt to watch the movie.
Over the fourth of July weekend, I was in Des Moines visiting my brother, and during the day on Friday while the kids were taking a nap, we decided to watch a movie. He opened up his DVD cabinet and said he felt like watching X-Men 2. I protested.
Me: "I dunno Brother, that's a...a really bad idea. Your DVD player might break or something."
Brother: "You still hung up on that stupid curse? For the last time, there is no such thing! That's it, we're watching it."
And so it was that despite my protests, we watched X-Men 2. Turns out its a good movie, you know? But it didn't take long for the curse to rear its ugly head. That evening while we were at the city park for the fireworks show, I get a strangely worded text message from someone back in Omaha. Four days later, The Facebook Incident happens. Coincidence?
There is no such thing as coincidences when it comes to X-Men 2. This movie has broken my DVD player, caused my DVR to short out, gotten me used by a chick I was on a date with to make her ex-boyfriend jealous (a tactic that ultimately worked), and now caused a girl I really really liked to break up with me for another dude. Its an evil movie, and it will one day rob me of my life precious, of this I have no doubt.
Here's the funny thing:. The last date we went out on involved dining on Indian Food -- meaning I had the Curse of Indian Food AND the Curse of X2 working against me! Yeesh, I had no prayer, did I? Frankly, I'm amazed I still have all of my limbs and that I'm still alive. I was really tempting fate; taunting it, actually. I got what I deserved.
I'm a skeptical person by nature, so I tend not to put much stock in this curse bullshit. But its hard to ignore the signs after a while, even for me. How many bad things can happen in my life as a direct or indirect result of this movie? Don't answer that.
Anyway, I spent a good 10 days being sad and growing a shaggy beard. I'm over the being sad part, I still have the beard, I'm glad to be alive, and I'm never ever ever going to watch X2 or eat Indian Food again. I have no choice. When you're cursed, you're cursed.
You bet.
