So here's something crazy. No, not that this is the 875th post in the long and illustrious history of this blog. Although that is pretty crazy.
I had someone send me an email about six months ago asking me if I would be willing to sell my domain name to them. Yeah, someone -- we'll call him "Lars Moronica" for the sake of confidentiality -- actually wanted to buy polyfro.com from me. Go to Google sometime and search for Polyfro -- do the results look like something anyone would want to buy? Usually when spammers or domain hustlers look to buy names, they want popular, common words that will drive traffic to their spyware-infested dungeons of horror. Polyfro?
Its shocking because, well, how do I say this...ITS A MADE UP WORD. I invented it one day, out of nothing. That's why when you search Google, the end-all-be-all of all data in the entire UNIVERSE, you can go tens of pages deep before finding anything not somehow related to this site or to me personally. Because I invented the word. Come to think of it, there's lots of words I'm responsible for.
(Technically, that DJ at that techno club where I once wore the Afro Wig to originally coined the term. But I don't think he remembers that, and besides, I don't know who that dude is even if I wanted to thank him.)
Perhaps stupidly, I sent Lars a response. My offer was $50,000.96, with the 96 cents to be delivered as a mixture of Buffalo Nickels and Indian Head Pennies. I left it to their discretion on how that bitches brew of nickels and pennies was to be comprised. Also, I demanded they have a messenger deliver the money to my doorstep, and that said messenger would have to do either the Truffle Shuffle or the Berenguer Boogie before I'd accept.
Obviously, I don't want to sell the name, but I also know that if someone really wants something badly enough...so I threw an outrageous figure out there and assumed this way I'd never hear from them. Not sure what I would have told my publisher if Lars had taken me up on the offer, although I'm pretty sure with riches of $50,000.96 and enduring nightmares of the Berenguer Boogie in person I could get by OK. Oh yeah, did I mention that? My publisher wanted me to surrender the URL to them for promotion of my book. Their idea was for me to take my blog to www.maxunivers.com, something their marketing geniuses said makes more sense. But Polyfro is my baby, and you cants has my baby.
Why the heck would Lars want it? Who searches for a made-up word unless they're already familiar with it, in which case they're looking for me? Hmm. Maybe Lars knows something I don't. Am I about to become famous or something? I sure hope not.
Still, Lars was not deterred, and he replied back to me that they would pay $500 via Western Union upon successful transfer of the domain to them. I told Lars to open a Bud Light and suck it. Seems this made Lars a weencie bit upset, screaming for vengeance like Judas Priest in 1983. Because today, I see that "www.maxunivers.com" is mysteriously registered to someone who appears to be using it for a blank storefront. Oh, they'll be happy to sell it to me for $500! You bet.
I can assure you this is not some viral marketing campaign for the book, because lets face it, I'm not smart enough to be able to pull off something like that.
This isn't over, Lars.