There are times when utilizing Picture-In-Picture to watch two things at once is preferable than watching one thing in High-Definition. Monday night was one of those times.
Finding myself in the unfortunate position of choosing whether to watch the reopening of the Louisiana Superdome on Monday Night Football or watching the Twins potentially clinch a playoff berth against Kansas City, I made a choice alright. I chose Picture-In-Picture over High-Definition. See, my "small" 27 inch TV in my living room upstairs may be standard definition but it has PIP. Which is nice.
In the interest of full disclosure, my fantasy football opponent this week had both Michael Vick and Warrick Dunn going for him in the MNF game, and I was clinging to a 23-point lead after Sunday's games. As if I wouldn't have been anyway, obviously I was a Saints fan on this night.
So with a feast of hot dogs, nachos and Cool Ranch Doritos, I sat down to watch two games at once. Good times.
***
It turns out that watching baseball in a 6"x8" window in the corner of the screen is not bad -- especially when its the low-budget bad graphics Royals telecast. Seriously, I can put up with the other team's broadcast on most nights, but on the night of the clincher, I get stuck with the Royals El Cheapo production? Come on.
If you've never watched the Royals on RSTN (the Royals Sports Television Network, which is not really a network but just a company that produces their games and then syndicates them to cable outlets, such as Fox Sports Midwest) its an experience in low-budget hilariousness. Their graphics are an absolute affront to my visual sensibilities. Absolute.
They like to show sponsor logos out of proportion -- stretched or smashed. Their animations are clunky and half-baked, like cookies that weren't done when they came out of the oven. But most of all, they manage to have graphics that try to be futuristic spaceship looking while at the same time appearing to be 10 years out of date. That's hard to do, folks.
Its a shame, because their announcers are generally among the most knowledgeable and easy-to-follow in the game. They actually try to teach you things, while knowing enough to be qualified to do so, which is a nice change from, oh, I don't know...ESPN?
So I've got the Twins-Royals in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen, and Monday Night Football on the main screen. Since its the grand reopening of the Superdome, they're treating it like a Super Bowl. Meaning, Green Day and U2 play three songs before the game. Great, now I get to watch Bono, who's inexplicably cut all his hair off, preen around on stage and lecture us all on societal responsibilities while The Edge plays the two chords he knows over and over again.
Funny thing is, Green Day opens with "Wake Me Up When September Ends", and The Edge is on guitar. Might be his finest guitar playing ever, because he didn't write it...
Then Bono comes out, and it devolves into a butchering of what was already a marginal song to begin with -- Beautiful Day. New lyrics ad-libbed for a special occasion are always lame. See: Elton John's 9000 versions of Candle In The Wind. They close the set with "The Saints Are Coming", which is strangely moving. I'm not going to lie, with the Saints players waiting to run on the field to that song, I had goosebumps.
As Bono gets ready to say something, thankfully the Twins have a threat going. Switch. They go up 1-0 shortly thereafter, but strand 2 runners on. Back to football.
Atlanta goes 3-and-out, and New Orleans blocks the punt! Returned for a touchdown! The Superdome is going crazy. I have to cheer. That's something, there.
Boof Bonser has a no-hitter going. Switch. New Orleans scores again. Switch. Cleveland is in the midst of an 8-run inning against Shecago? Switch to that!
It was true: the Cleveland Indigenous Peoples were putting a hurtin' to the Whine Sox! Talk about laying down and giving up. I was actually kind of pissed the Sox weren't putting up more of a fight. Some champions they are, rolling over and dying without even a fight. They'd lose 14-1 -- quite a way to officially end your championship defense. Nicely done. The best part: Cleveland playing Paper Lace's "The Night Chicago Died" over the PA after the game. Stay classy, Cleveland. Actually, that's dominant, and I wish I'd though of it. Damn you Cleveland.
And so it went, on and on, the Twins clinging to a lead, the Saints crushing Atlanta. Couldn't have scripted it better -- the Twins closing in on a playoff birth, and Vick and Dunn having terrible games. Everybody wins!
With the football game out of hand at 23-3 and me no longer in danger of losing my fantasy game, and the Twins game at the 8th, I moved downstairs to watch the 9th inning on the big screen.
They closed it out, winning 8-1 and a grand celebration was had by all.
Everybody wins! Thanks to the Cleveland Indigenous Peoples, the Whine Sox are vanquished. Thanks to the New Orleans Saints, Vick and Dunn have terrible games and I win my fantasy football game and go to 3-0 on the year. And the Twins clinch at least the Wild Card. Outstanding! Super Duper!
You bet.
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