Everytime you use Comic Sans, I will punch this bunny
As you know (and as Bennett reminded the world earlier this week), I do not like Comic Sans. We are not friends, me and Mr. Sans. I cringe when I see it everywhere. And this week, I received a letter in the mail that was typeset in, you guessed it, Comic Sans. I can't post it, unfortuCliffly, because it was a pricing notice letter from a supplier at work and that would be proprietary information. Such a shame, because if you could see this thing, man. I mean, TYPESET IN COMIC SANS!
Someone explained to me once that people who don't share a designer's eye for letterforms and type would have no idea why Comic Sans is so bad. After all, when its used by mothers making signs in Publisher, accountants making flyers in Word, or HR Managers making brochures in Paint, they more than likely had three font choices: Arial, Times, and Comic Sans. And possibly Bookman. They want a fun font to give their otherwise poorly designed piece some personality. And there it is, smiling devilishly from the Font pallet. Comic Sans! And a 20-watt light bulb, goes off in their head, very dimly illuminating what they believe to be a brilliant choice.
That makes sense. But it doesn't make it right.
In response to my ongoing war on Comic Sans, I hung an Anti-Comic Sans poster on the wall of my cubicle. Just a nice little illustration someone sent me once. Basically, it depicts a young woman holding a bunny by the ears, with the headline reading:
"Everytime you use Comic Sans, Faye will punch this adorable little bunny."
And our heroine, Faye, is saying in a comic bubble, in you guessed it, Not Comic Sans, "But I don't want to punch the bunny!"
And finally, at the bottom, the tagline "Remember, only you can prevent bunny punching. Boycott Comic Sans today."
In 4-point type across the bottom, it says, "This message is brought to you by the National Organization of Goddamn is Comic Sans an Ugly Font."
However, it turns out most people don't have any idea what Comic Sans is, at least, most non-designers. And apparently, if you don't know what something is, and someone is threatening to punch a bunny if you use that something you don't know about, its disturbing. In fact, someone used that exact word. "That's disturbing." I hope so. I hope you're so disturbed at the thought of a bunny being punched that you never ever use Comic Sans again.
This is my crusade. Don't think I haven't tried to persuade our IT guys to take it off of the standard install on new machines, because I have. For a while, they actually did, but the recipient of this new machine actually asked where it went. Honest to good and awesome.
"Now, where did that fun little comic book font go? I had it on my old machine. I just love that font!"
Comic Sans, is that the one?
"Yes! That's it! Can you put it on here for me?"
Now, I heard this going on, and ran over to reason with them. Using Comic Sans is like showing up at a black-tie event in a clown suit. Its ridiculous, its abhorrant, and above all, its inappopriate, I explained.
"But can you put it back on my computer?"
Aren't you listening? Its an evil evil font!
"But I need it for this flyer on our walking club I'm making!"
And I need a virus on my computer so I can see if my anti-virus software is still working. But I'm not that stupid. Don't be stupid.
"Do you have it on disk or something?"
Its useless, folks. I'm trying to fight the good fight, here. I walked out, letting them reinstall the font. This is a setback, for sure, but rest assured the war is not over.
Comic Sans must perish. Oh, and if I catch you using it, I'm going to punch this bunny. And maybe your gut while I'm at it. (OK, maybe not that last part. But don't use it, and we won't have to find out. Deal?)
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