Another blog project that I'm involved with is considering producing regular podcasts for its readers, in which news and topical discussions of graphic design issues would be presented. Podcasts, if you're just an absolute piece of wood and don't know, are like radio programs distributed in MP3 format for playback on iPods -- hence the name Podcast. Its probably short for iPod Broadcast, or something, but I'm not sure about that.
The two guys who started that blog and turned it into one of the four or five best design blogs online are, quite frankly, two of the quietest people in the history of the world. Put them in front of a keyboard, and they're flamboyant like Chef Boyardee on a can of Spaghettios. Put them on a radio show, like their guest appearance as panelists on "Design Matters" a month ago, and they're soft-spoken, shy and quiet. So if a podcast from that website is going to happen, they would have to be behind the scenes while someone else gets behind the mic. Luckily, there's some other authors on the site who are outgoing enough and have strong voices -- verbally, not just typographically -- to host the podcast. The tentative plan has Cliff hosting it, because it was his idea and he's the one pushing for it to happen. If he ever gets tired of hosting it, there's another author on that site who would kick ass and take no prisoners...
Namely, me. You bet. I've even got experience on radio, believe it or not. Pisses me off I didn't think of this podcast idea. I'd like to be on that thing. But alas.
***
Anyway, years ago I did some radio work in brief stints on a college FM back home before I went to Creighton here in Omaha. They only would put me on late at night -- usually at 4am -- and the shows were never very successful. I hated them, actually, which is why I don't talk about it very often. But today I'll let you in on the secret.
I was the Executive Editor of the newspaper at that community college, so I knew practically everyone on campus. Late in the first semester, the guy in charge of The College FM 88.1 -- that was actually the name, I'm not even joking -- asked me to fill in for the regular overnight deejay for a couple of weeks. There were so many great things about that gig. First of all, the signal was only 2500 watts, so you could really only pick up the station within the city limits, meaning the chances of anyone from the FCC hearing you were minimal. Second, it was on from 2am-6am when no one is listening. Third, my on-air personality was "Tom Stallone", because the engineer thought I looked like Sly. And fourth, they let me play anything I damn well wanted. No genre restrictions, no music director telling me what to play.
That was what I dug the most, really. A buddy of mine worked the overnight shift at the local rock station, at the time called Z-94. (Funny aside there: the call letters were KKEZ because years before it had been an easy listening station and when they changed formats the FCC wouldn't let them change call letters. So to hide that old-geezer sounding name, they called themselves "The Z". Nice.) Anyway, he was limited to a playlist of rock songs from 1970 to the present, with a heavy emphasis on 1970. Honest to God, you'd go 45 minutes between songs you recognized. Even for me.
But I could play anything I wanted to. And that was why when the two weeks were up and the regular guy was back, I was not asked to stay on. Turns out letting me play whatever is a bad idea.
***
My iPod is a 40GB, and its completely full. My friends make fun of me for some of the stuff on there, because they've either never heard of it, or can't believe I would have that on my iPod. But I like a diverse swath of popular music, and as you well know, can remember damn near every song I've ever heard.
For my friends who rode up to Minneapolis a couple of weeks back, that playlist I had going? The one that had Continental cracking up at the bizarre transition between somebody like Foreigner to 2pac, with some old movie trailers or TV theme songs mixed in? That was the show. 4 hours of that stuff. And if that was all the show was, it would be nothing to be ashamed of. But...
I also had some really extraordinarily bad ideas that no one stopped me from doing. Like the night I decided to give away old CD's from my personal collection. Stuff like Vanilla Ice's "Extremely Live!" and the first New Kids on the Block CD. That was bad because, well, I think you can guess why. I also tried -- and failed miserably -- to do voices and impersonations and fake callers and things of that nature. This is where things got terribly embarrassing and made the whole thing into a time I'd rather forget.
As it turns out, I don't do impressions very well. When I stick to my own voice, its Awesome. When I try to be someone else, its not awesome. But I tried, and failed, and there's CDs to prove it.
***
A couple of years later, I'm living in a college house here in Omaha, and the whole thing is a forgotten memory. This house had strange closets -- some rooms had giant walk-ins, some rooms had little indents in the wall barely big enough for a few shirts on hangers -- so we'd store stuff in each others closets. One of my roommates was looking for one of his CD's, and accidentally looked in a box of some old things of mine. He stumbled across a disc with some of the worst moments from that show. The engineer had cut tapes for me of his favorite parts -- usually the parts I hated, as it turned out -- and I'd put them on CDs so I could hide them easier. Because an old cassette tape piques interest, makes you put it in to find out what's on the tape labeled "Tom Stallone". A CD with that label is ignored. Until this night.
This was the worst night of my college years.
I know John, who reads this site every day, was there when they found the CD, which I quickly snatched to stop from being played. I remember him laughing at me. I don't remember if he was there when it was stolen from me a couple of hours later and played for all to hear. I hope he wasn't. I wish no one had heard it.
That CD was destroyed, by me, later that night. Turns out there is a point of mass embarrassment, even for me. Not often, but it can be accomplished. Bring up Tom Stallone, and I'll get red in the face. Like Colt 45, it works every time.
***
So this Podcast idea has piqued my interest. While I certainly don't have anything to add from a serious perspective on design, maybe there's a minute they can save for me to do something funny. I'd sure like the opportunity to redeem myself, and turn "Tom Stallone's Furious Four-Hour Fist to the Face!" into a distant memory.
(Yes, that was the name. Hideous, I know.)
Leave a comment