A person who psychoanalyzes beloved movies or TV shows from their youth with the perspective of adulthood is, in my opinion, a prime example of a serious dullard. Am I the only one that believes there is an "off" switch on the adult switch? (Beware. I'm really worked up here. Shoes will fly.)
Why does this come up today? Well, Friday night I went to see one of my childhood faves, Goonies, at the midnight movie at the Dundee here in Omaha. And apparently several people in our group were preoccupied with doing just that -- psychoanalyzing Goonies from the perspective of a 25+ year old.
Come on. I'll argue until I'm blue in the face that Goonies is just an enjoyable flick about a group of kids on an exciting adventure looking for the pirate treasure that might save their childhood neighborhood. Feel free to argue the "one-eyed willie" point about sexual innuendo and what not. You'll be talking to a brick wall. And I might throw a shoe at you.
For a while I really believed that maybe I was wrong, that allowing oneself to watch these movies from an adult perspective is what you're supposed to do, and discover how silly and unwatchable they are, and then never be able to watch them again. But why the hell would you never want to watch Gremlins, or Little Monsters, or Goonies, or the original Willy Wonka again? What the hell kind of deal is that?
I have friends who grew up watching He-Man, as I did, who now refuse to acknowledge the awesomeness just because they believe, when watched as an adult, that He-Man is gay. You bet. You know what? I don't care. Its enjoyable. You go on and be stupid and boring and grown-up and watch it with the cynicism of a jaded adult. I'll watch it for what it is and have a damn good time.
One of my friends who was there Friday night and was on my side of this argument emailed me this morning to tell me that she's slipping. "I still maintain an innocent interpretation of the fine film, but I don't know how long I can uphold that stance with any semblance of substance...I shudder to even think what one could say about Masters of the Universe or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Please, not the Turtles! Anyone but the Turtles. Take Dolph Lundgren, but spare the word's most fearsome fighting dudes!"
That's good stuff, remembering the immortal Dolph as He-Man in the live action flick. Impresses me greatly. So obviously losing her valuable knowledge of these awesome phenomenons of popular culture would be a huge blow. I had to reassure her.
"Grown-Up Propaganda is a popular weapon of the Smarty-Pants Army. Resist their siren song, for while the words can seemingly make perfect sense, accepting them as gospel will cause you to no longer be able to enjoy all that was once good and awesome. TMNT, Gremlins, He-Man, She-Ra, Princess of Power, Back to the Future, Thundercats Ho, Super Friends, even Childs Play and Little Monsters, are all targets of the Smarty-Pants Regime. Before you know it they’ll have you drinking holy kool-aid from their Smarty-Pants Chalice and you’ll believe that a turtle’s digestive system could never handle pizza with anchovies, that rats and turtles don’t speak English, and furthermore are incapable of using karate and nun chucks to save the world from Splinter."
That's my position, baby. I will not argue this. Bring on the hate emails about how I'm stubborn, or childish, or stupid -- I get them every time I make these arguments. Know what happens to 'em?
They get BALEETED.
You bet.
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