Tonight is the premiere of Star Wars Episode III, and the official Polyfro Party is at midnight at the AMC-24. We're all going to the premiere at 12:01 am -- Nate, Donovan, my brother, me -- and it will be dominant. I'm hoping to see lots of freaks in costumes and stuff. I'll be really disappointed if I don't see at least one guy dressed like Mace Windu, heir to the "Token Black Guy in a Star Wars movie" throne previously occupied by the incomparable Billy Dee. Just one Samuel L, please. That's all I ask.
I purposely stayed away from the theater for the first two new movies. I waited two months to see Episode I, and even then I saw it back home in Fort Dodge at our little 4-screen plex on a Wednesday night. There was like 10 people in the theater. For Episode II, I waited three weeks and then went to a Sunday afternoon matinee with a couple buddies. I'm willing to try anything once, so I figure this being the last one, I'll do the midnight opener thing.
I've been watching the original movies all week on the 51" HDTV to prepare, since I'm not the biggest Star Wars junkie and I could use a refresher on the movies. Last night was my least favorite of the originals, Return of the Jedi. Not a big fan of that movie. I hate the Ewoks. You do not have little Teddy Bears in an action movie unless you plan on blowing them up, OK? Unless you plan on sticking some dynamite in their shirt and blowing their limbs clean off, don't put teddy bears in your movie.
That always overshadows, for me, what is otherwise an enjoyable film. The first hour is cool. The next 45 minutes I want to throw my shoe at the screen for having to watch stupid little teddy bears. The last 30 minutes is OK. So overall its just a 2.5 fro movie out of 4.
Still better than the atrocious Episodes I & II, both of which were damn near unwatchable. The first one is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And I like a lot of crappy movies, so you have to really be bad to be considered "unwatchable" on my scale. I mean, two of my favorite movies are "Ace Ventura" and "Fletch", neither exactly considered a classic. In fact, I'll go so far as to say Phantom Menace never happened. That's right, it never happened. Just like Rocky V, Karate Kid III, Fletch Lives, Caddyshack II, Another 48 Hours, and Beverly Hills Cop III. Doesn't exist. From now on, you bring it up, I'll be all like, what are you talking about? Never heard of it!
The Clones movie is OK. 2 stars maybe, and only because of the Yoda sword fight. Less annoying scenes, slightly better story, it was at least enjoyable. I would watch this one again, and in fact will do so tonight on the HDTV prior to the midnight show.
In my mind, you make Attack of the Clones the first movie, with maybe bits of the Menace movie at the beginning to set the story. Then you make the excellent cartoon "Clone Wars" the second movie. Show the war, show the carnage. Then you make the third movie as is. And it would be dominant.
I have to believe there was a point where Lucas regretted making these new movies. Probably about the time he realized everyone hated Jar jar. He has forever ruined his legacy as far as I'm concerned. USA Today ran a big story on the generation gap over Star Wars -- people my age like the original three and generally despise the new ones; teenagers and young punk kids don't so much like the originals but LOVE the new ones -- apparently at 27 I fall in the former.
What is interesting to me is to see how closely he dovetails this one into the original movie. For instance, how much Darth Vader will we see? Will we see Luke and Leia as babies, split up? The exile of Yoda to a remote planet? Will we see Han Solo meet Chewbacca and ask him to be his sidekick? Will we see Obi Wan go to court to legally change his name to Ben?
Here's hoping Episode III is great, and salvages what has otherwise been a mediocre trilogy. And here's hoping I see some freaks, preferably a Mace Windu guy.
You bet.
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