You know, I was talking to an old friend (referred to here as "Captain Ron") on the phone today that I hadn't spoken to in years. The captain is the only guy I know that can hold his own with me on obscure pop culture references. And so many good natured arguments about music that I know too much about broke out, it was a gas. Afterward, we fired off emails to jot down what we could remember of the conversation so you all can enjoy the madness. His idea, not mine.
You're a fly on the wall. Hold tight with your little antennae-esque feets!
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Max: I was listening to Morris Day and The Time's album "Ice Cream Castle" the other day, and...
Captain Ron: Hold it. You were listening to the entire album, not just Jungle Love? Why would you even own the whole album?
M: Come on! "The Bird" is their best song, period. "I pledge allegiance to The Time! What's the word? When you wanna get some, whattya do? Do the Bird! Baaa!" Jungle Love is only remembered more fondly now because it was in that Jay and Silent Bob movie. Obviously you're forgetting that when Morris Day co-starred with Prince in Purple Rain, The Bird was prominently featured -- not Jungle Love. Incidentally, how hilarious is it that Prince's Minneapolis antagonist from their club days, Morris Day, looks almost identical to the Purple One?
CR: You're an idiot. Jungle Love is all you need from The Time. One hit wonders in my book. Just like Wendy and Lisa, the ladies from The Revolution that went solo after they were fired by Prince.
M: Ha! Wendy and Lisa. I'd forgotten all about them. That "Waterfalls" song, right? People may come/People may go/Just as long as the water falls. The video was hot, I remember, cheesy water superimposed in the background of these two hot chicks playing guitar. But I think it was their only hit, sadly.
CR: Yep. They weren't much without Prince's songwriting.
M: Whatever. SO as I was saying, I was listening to the Ice Cream Castle album, which I hadn't really studied for many years. I found it when I moved into my house, packed away with a bunch of my baseball cards. Its amazing how raunchy songs like "My Drawers", "Chili Sauce" (they say saliva is an aphrodesiac) and "If the Kid can't make you come" are when you're older and actually know what all that stuff means.
CR: Was Morris friends with Jacko too? Writing a song called "If the kid can't make you come"?
M: Shut up. Morris Day is freaking cool. He was just here in Omaha, playing after the River City Lancers hockey game in a two-for-one game/concert thing. He's cool.
CR: Whatever. So I'm going to a wedding next week, and my fiance and I are trying to pick our "song", and I'm sure that whatever the couple chooses will start a nice little discussion. She wants to some Taylor Dayne song. I want "lovesong" by The Cure.
M: Oh, you totally got to go with "Sea Of Love" by The Honeydrippers. When I get married (shut up, it'll happen, eventually!), I'm fairly certain having that song play for our first dance will be a condition of our marriage. I'm simply not getting married if she picks anything else. She can plan everything else about the wedding. But I get to pick the song. And I'm picking Sea of Love. That's the only way to still be awesome, even though you're dancing to a slow ballad in front of hundreds of people drinking your beer and eating your food -- when its sung by Robert Plant, voice of Led Zeppelin. You would be my hero if you convince her to use that.
CR: (disparaging remark on my currently-single status removed)
M: Yeah, I'm stubborn, I guess. "Lovesong" is pretty good too. Just don't do the terrible 311 remake. Please.
CR: Never. The Cure's original version is so much better. Actually the 311 version would be OK if everytime I heard it I wasn't reminded of the fact it was for the "50 First Dates" soundtrack. TERRIBLE movie. Like the plague, takes everything associated with it down. Sandler, Barrymore, even a decent 311 song.
M: Word up.
CR: Gotta go with Robert Smith's original
M: Word.
CR: So here's a question for you. Which is your favorite Duran Duran side project, The Power Station or Arcadia?
M: Wow, that's tough. Power Station was Andy and John Taylor, right? And Robert Palmer?
CR: And the drummer from Chic.
M: Right. And Arcadia. They were Simon LeBon, Roger Taylor, and Nick Rhodes, if I remember correctly. You know, I like Arcadia better but its closer than you might think.
CR: Arcadia? Really? I had you pegged as a Power Station guy all the way!
M: Nope. I could really go either way, actually. But at the moment my favorite album of the two is Arcadia's So Red The Rose. Its just more experimental, more cerebral than a lot of the Duran Duran stuff, its cool. "Election Day" is a song I've only recently rediscovered, and its better than I remember.
CR: OK, I'll play Devil's Advocate here. When Duran Duran split into two factions in '85, the lead guitarist and bassist went with Robert Palmer to form Power Station. They had the bigger hits; the higher charting album; the most record sales; they even got invited to appear at Live Aid, though if I remember right they had to back out. Arcadia was a one-hit wonder. Power Station had "Some Like It Hot" and "Get It On (Bang A Gong)". Hands down, its Power Station.
M: You're insane, Captain Ron. Sure, those two songs are great, heavy rock songs unlike anything Duran Duran ever produced, but the rest of the album -- eponymously named The Power Station -- was a lot weaker. Arcadia only had the one hit, but that's because popular radio wasn't ready for the kind of progressive pop they produced.
CR: But with Simon LeBon on vocals, they sounded too much like Duran Duran!
M: That's like saying Dennis DeYoung singing his silly Broadway ballads sounds like Styx because he sang most of their hits, even though his new piano ballads sound NOTHING like Styx.
CR: Don't get me started on Styx. That new album of covers is ridiculous. Just because their one-off cover of "I Am The Walrus" got some airplay, they rushed out an entire album.
M: I'm seriously going to hang up the phone. "Big Bang Theory" is my favorite album released in 2005, period, so far. Have you heard the acoustic remake of "Blue Collar Man"? Apparently not. Its dominant. Amazing what a band can do without that fruitcake Dennis DeYoung choking off the rock and roll creativity of Tommy Shaw and James Young.
CR: On that we agree.
M: Finally, we agree on something. Here's a question, which 70's/80's arena rock band is worse for the wear without their original lead singer: Journey, Styx, or Survivor?
CR: I'm eliminating Survivor right off the bat, they are not in the same league as the other two. Without the Rocky films, they're nothing. They're a worse version of Eddie Money.
M: Easy, now. I will not sit idly by and have you disparage Eddie Money. Eddie is the man.
CR: Wow, touched a nerve there. Anyway, Styx or Journey, eh?
M: I suppose I'll allow that.
CR: Easily Journey. The new singer in Styx is essentially a backup vocalist. Instead of doing a one-for-one swap for Sir Bombastic Ballad, I mean, Dennis DeYoung, they just don't play any of his crappy ballads anymore. They mostly play the hard rockers. No more "Babe", "Lady", "Don't Let It End" or crap like that. They're actually a better band to see live now than in their prime, because you don't have to hear that crap. As for Journey, Steve Perry WAS Journey. You hear his voice, even on his solo work, and you instantly think Journey.
M: There you go with the "Vocalist Makes The Band" theory again! First Duran Duran, now Journey? That's ridiculous.
CR: You're telling me when you hear "Oh Sherry" or "Foolish Heart" you don't assume its a Journey song until you remember its actually from his solo album "Street Talk"?
M: Yep. Its not Journey. Journey is a band. Taking one member away does not change who they are, even if most people only hear the lead singer. You're forgetting, Journey's lead guitarist and keyboard player were founding members of Santana in 1969 and played Woodstock. They played on the Abraxas album that featured classics like Oye Como Va and Black Magic Woman. After Santana's original lineup disbanded in the mid-70's, they formed Journey. And Steve Perry didn't even join the band until their FOURTH ALBUM! Lots of people consider their first three albums, real hard rocking efforts with minimal vocals, to be their best work. Steve just made everyone rich with his mainstream rock. I love Steve Perry's Journey. I wore out one CD and had to buy another, I listened to it so much in high school. But to say Steve Perry IS Journey is ludicrous. The new guy sounds enough like him, plus he doesn't have the goofy mullet. The band is essentially the same.
CR: I just can't win.
M: Don't be bitter.
CR: Here's a stumper. You get this I'm hanging up. Billy Idol's guitar player on his early 80's hits performed a song for an early 90s comedy. Which one?
M: You gotta do better than that. Steve Stevens did Power Of Suggestion for Ace Ventura, right? The same Steve Stevens that played lead guitar on "White Wedding", "Rebel Yell", etcetera etcetera!
CR: I give up. (click)
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