I was out of town all weekend, and when you do that, your mail piles up. But not like this weekend. I return last night to find a ginormous stack of rubber-band'd mail in my box. Stamped on the top piece was this friendly message from my postal carrier, in red ink:
"Found in supposedly empty machine"
No shit. There was like 8 or 9 letters in this stack, some with postmarks as old as March 14. How outragious is this? One of them was a bill from Cox that is now late, of course. Sorry guys, not my fault (this time).
Also in that stack was a welcome letter from my sanitation company, explaining when garbage pickup is, what you can and can't throw away, etc. Without that letter, I found those bits of information out the old fashioned way, by talking to people. Only an idiot would not notice a street where every driveway has a 60-gallon garbage can sitting at the end of it. I mean, I drove home one Wednesday night from a late night at the bars, saw the homogenous look of a street of identical looking townhomes all with garbage cans at the curb, and said to myself, "Self, Wednesday must be garbage night. Good to know."
The next week, I had some boxes from new furniture I had purchased, and I was wondering whether they could go out in my regular trash bin. I asked my neighbor to learn the answer.
One month later, I finally got a letter telling me all these things. With a fridge magnet! Yippie!
Incidentally, am I the only one who loves fridge magnets? I mean, you send me a fridge magnet, and I'm slapping it up there on the fridge. Don't matter who its from. The Society For The Annhiliation of Nutty Bars? Done. The Ministry of Twinkies? Yep. eWhoremony.com -- you supply the mony, we supply the whore? You bet.
Not sure where that last one came from. My brother came up with it during our drive home Saturday, when that eHarmony.com matchmaker ad was on the radio. It pretty funny so I had to use it.
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