Cheese On Cheese. I hadn't eaten those things since I last found them in my lunchbox, presumably back when I was about 8 years old. You know the ones: cheese crackers with highly processed and tasteless cheese spread, in an easy-to-consume pack of six.
Should be hard to screw up. But they're always gross. All of which is why, when I found a pack of them in the "snack box" in our lunchroom, well, I just HAD to eat them. And document the experience for my readers. Enjoy my agony.
Cheese On Cheese, B.C. (Before Consumption). Note the "Crunchasaurus" dragon guy on the package. Clearly these are marketed to paleontologists and other scientific people.
The first savory bite! Upon insertion, the crackers taste good. The cheese? Every bit as granulated and nasty as it looked. Not a pleasurable snacking experience. Unfortunately, there's five more crackers to go.
Between each cracker, I had to drink from the Chalise of Blessed Holy Water, to clense my soul from the sin of the Cheese on Cheese, as well as my taste buds from the aftertaste of processed cheese spread.
Cracker four. At this point my stomach is saying "No More!". The view from the garbage can tells the story. Incidentally, this is why I could never be on Fear Factor. If I can't even keep a Cheese on Cheese down, how could I stomach live stink beetles?
I got 'em down. All except that little corner piece there. And somehow, I managed to only lose a portion of the digested fourth cracker. That guy calls the garbage can home now.
Really, really, gross and nasty. Not near as good as the prepackaged peanut butter crackers. And not near as good as cheese whiz spread on a Ritz or a TownHouse cracker either.
Conclusion: There is a reason I hadn't eaten Cheese on Cheese since I was 8 years old. Good lord.
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