So, quite a weekend for the idiot, I mean, me. Friday night, I get a message from a girl I've known for a while but who is newly single. She wants me to come out to the bar with her and her friends, and then go back to their place to play games of a drinking variety. Something about needing a partner. Three drunk girls, their apartment, drinking games, one guy: me.
But I was in the middle of a righteous game of ping-pong! So I hit ignore. And lost track of time, and totally never called her back. Now she won't return my calls.
Proof positive that I am still the undisputed king of idiotville.
But wait wait wait it gets worse!
Saturday night, we're out at the bars. Its the usual: me getting hit on by wives or girlfriends. Happens all the time. Really, girls, stop grabbing my ass when you're man's around. I know my butt is nice, but that ain't cool. You're gonna get my ass more than grabbed, if you know what I mean.
So anyway, as we're leaving, one of the girls we were with says to her boyfriend, "I don't like you anymore. Tom is my new boyfriend!" And she proceeds to force herself around my arm as we walk to The Colorado.
This is tragic.
So a bunch of us pile into The Colorado and drive back home for some late night pancakes. No, literally, like eggs and toast and pancakes and stuff. What were you thinking? Dirty person, you.
And as we're sitting there, she says, "You ever use your truck to pick up ladies? It would work. I mean, its working on me!"
Grrr.
Her real boyfriend is like four feet away, and she's throwing herself at the mercy of my court. When her sister called and asked who was all there eating, she introduced me as her new boyfriend.
That's it folks, I'm out! Time to go home!
Needless to say her actual boyfriend was not too pleased. I can't help it I'm so damn funny and sexy. Its a curse. But I jetted real quick. Therefore, I'm still here to tell you about it today.
You bet.
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