Mile 1985: first trip to the bar for Pint Nite. The "Holiday Cheer from Samuel Adams" glasses are fantastic. The beer was too. Girls shooting me with rubber bands in the ass, not to much. So long as they're cute and single and its not my buddy's girlfriend pulling the trigger, go for it, ladies.
The irony is not lost on me that on mile 1985, we're listening to Neneh Cherry's "Buffalo Stance" (one of the greatest old school songs ever, by the way), and we're on the way to a college bar for pint night, and its very time-machine-esque. The Colorado is way cooler than that stupid DeLorean though. I don't think that piecer had XM Satellite Radio. Come to think of it, I don't think it had any radio. Doc had to take it out to make room for the time machine control panel. So while you could go back to 1955, you couldn't listen to Neneh Cherry while you did it. Not very astute thinking there, Doc.
Speaking of time travel, here's a question that's always buffaloed me: say you drink some beer, a lot of beer, in 1985, and jump in the DeLorean and go back to 1955 while you're still hungover. Will you be that way when you get there? Its in the past, right? So you should be strong and sober! How would that work? I need to know these things.
(How 'bout that super creepy photo of the dash, incidentally? I swear we weren't being abducted by aliens. Looks like it though.)
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Brent Musberger is an ass. I hate him. Frontrunning whore. Is it just me? He's an ass, right?
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I dig the "Holiday Cheer from Samuel Adams" pint glasses we got at the bar last night. Good stuff. The greatest thing about drinking Sammy is that you can pretend to be Sam Jackson all night. "ITS MY BEER!" Stop shouting. "I CAN'T! THIS IS HOW I TALK! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN MY MOVIES? I WAS IN JUICE! WITH TUPAC SHAKUR! DRINK UP!"
For the record, yes they deserved to die, and I hope they rot in hell.
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Wait, Bobby Brown is on the XM. I have to stop and pay homage to the greatest crackhead singer of our generation. Bobby, you are the greatest. And the way you turned Whitney from a middle-of-the-road female Michael Bolton into a drugged out ghetto queen? That's some serious know how. I stand in awe. Props, bro. Props.
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My sources tell me there's a dynamite suit sale at Penney's. You should check it out. Cancel whatever plans you may have and go. Now.
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