Game One to the Twins

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As expected, Mr. Santana pitched a great game last night and the Twins won Game One, 2-0. While he was far from his dominent self, it has to be scary to New York that they got shut out on a night when Santana really only had one pitch.

Of course, the New York media is throwing in the towel. The New York Post called this particular team of Yanks "a disgrace to the throne". Ha. Get ready for more, bitches, 'cos my man Brad Radical Radke goes tonight.


THE YANKEES are dejected as the final out is recorded in their 2-0 loss.

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Call me unpatriotic if you will, but can we stop it already with the singing of "God Bless America" during the 7th Inning Stretch in New York? I mean, golly geez, what happened to carrying on with our lives like the President said? Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks, ho.

Last year, both the Twins and the Red Sox took umbrage with the extended, drawn-out version of the song as "performed" by Irish Tenor Ronan Tynan. You'll recall, he always sang that mystery first verse; who even knew there was a first verse? His version lasted damn near 4 minutes. In Game Two of the Twins series last year, with the Twins winning 2-1, our pitcher Mr. Radke stood on the mound while this ridiculous pandering to the flag went on longer than the opening sequence to "The Spy Who Loved Me". And Radke, who has hit exactly one batter in 3 years, plunks the first batter of the inning in the ass. It was funny, but it also led to 3 runs and a loss.

The Red Sox, god bless them, tried a different tactic: they invited a singer to do the song during the stretch at Fenway. Rumor was the team instructed the singer to drag it out as long as possible, to give the bastard Yankees a dose of their own medicine.

So last night, they have this joker singing the damn thing, and not only does he drag it out again, he changes the words! He substituted "valley" for "prairie", as in "from the mountains, to the valleys, to the oceans white with foam". Not once but twice. Because he sang that verse twice. I hate you.

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At left, TORII HUNTER scales the fence to take a home run away from A-Job in the 8th inning. Right, JOHAN SANTANA delivers a pitch in his 2-0 shutout.

Tonight in Game Two, get ready for another dose of Torii Hunter, Shannon Stewart and Jacque Jones, baby. The Yankees counter with Council Bluffs own Jon Lieber, who the American League hit .300 off this year. Plus he's an ex-Cub.

Prediction: TWINS 5, Yankees 1.

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This page contains a single entry by Max Univers published on October 6, 2004 4:55 PM.

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