Tonight, the battle for Middlewest Earth commences. For the Minnesota Twins have been called out by a team of nine evil wraiths who once were men but became corrupted by rings given to them by the Dark Lord of the East. These foul wraiths intend nothing less than the slaughter of all that is good and decent in the world.
Yes, the very fate of Middlewest Earth is at stake here. The time has come for a team of nine men of courage and valor to hunt some Yankee, and take back the precious.
I pity you, Yankees, facing Johan The Conqueror tonight in Game One. The power of the ring is no match for superior pitching skill.
"Excuse me sir, but I must inform you that you suck royal goat ass. Also, your team sucks donkey. Not so big without your precious, are you? I am Johan! Ya ha haahhahahaha!"