In the ongoing struggle to cede my title of Last Single Man in Omaha to another man, this weekend marked another setback. The story actually begins one week prior, when I spent the better part of my Saturday watching football and sharing the couch with a girl who hails originally from a town not far from my own hometown of Fort Dodge, Iowa. She kicked my butt in Tecmo Bowl on Nintendo, which gets her 1 point. She watched football and drank beer with the guys all Saturday, 2 points. She cheered when Nebraska lost, 2 more points. She was very hot, and had the sense of humor not only to laugh at jokes, but to know why they're funny -- how many girls know 80s movies as well as me? 6 points.
Unfortunately, when we were hanging out at the bar that night, this absolute tool started obnoxiously hitting on her. As this was happening, my friend talked me into leaving for another bar. Seemed right, as I didn't have the energy or the intestinal fortitude to continue the battle.
Flash forward to this weekend. As football time rolled around, the party was kicking off. She was on her way over. I was ready to make a move. It would not be denied.
Until her best friend, who also happens to be married to a relative of my sister-in-law, and who is one hell of a nice girl, caught wind of my intentions. She pulled me aside and talked me out of it.
Seems this girl is a first-class bitch. Nice and all, until you date her. She chews up guys and spits them out like grilled cheese sandwiches on moldy bread. I protested that at this point, I didn't care. That might be kinda fun. Got to be better than another single weekend, right?
Wrong. Seems the girls' last two boyfriends have been slapped with restraining orders after being unceremoniously dumped while on a date for the newest Jonny-Come-Lately she met that night. She seems at first glance to be quite a catch, a video-game playing, football watching, beer guzzling hottie. Apparently she's a little difficult to let go.
Anyway, after hearing that the likelihood of this thing ending with Tom having a broken heart, she had talked me out of it. I hear that later on, my new guardian angel admonished my dear sister-in-law not to ever let me go out with Devil Woman. I think its paraphrased thusly: "She'll break his heart into little tiny bits. She's my friend but I never want her to go out with a guy I know, because I'm all too aware of the emotional wreak he'll become afterward."
So thanks, I guess. I know I diagree with most of my friends when I say that I believe a little drama never killed anyone. Makes life interesting. And at this point, anything emotional with a girl is better than nothing. The official count: 10 months since my last second date with a girl. And counting. Maybe this week. Maybe!
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