Germans Love David Hasselhoff
"There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me." -David Hasselhoff
This is the winner of a chicken dinner for most arrogant comment ever. 'Nuff said. I've always thought that Mitch Buchanan, oop, sorry, Hasselhoff was the worst actor of our generation. The scale of bad acting is based on his portayal of one Michael Knight. It was not an understatement when the Washington Post wrote of Knight Rider:
"obviously they were looking for an actor who couldn't be a threat to upstage the car,"
Amen. On then to the scale of bad acting, 1978 to the present. Bad Acting Cheat Sheet Level 4: This level is for bad performances from a usually reliable talent. Think Bill Cosby in "Leonard Part 6". Have you seen this debacle from 1987? Bill Cosby, as a secret agent, riding an Emu into a burning factory to save a zoo of animals from something bad? Yeah, I'm sure that sounded better on paper. Or maybe not.
Level 3: For an acting performace that seems better than it actually is. Think Arnold in The Terminator. Schwarzenegger has like 16 lines in the entire 2 hour movie. I'm serious. Count them next time you watch it. Has anyone ever done seemingly so much by doing so little? Level 2: This is where every movie by Van Damme, Seagal, Chuck Norris, or Hulk Hogan falls. Truly bad performances from actors that are expected to deliver bad performances. "Suburban Commando", "Walker Texas Ranger", "Hard To Kill". Do I really need to continue?
Level 1: For bad acting that transcends all other bad acting. Think Adam West (TV's Batman), Shatner on "TJ Hooker", David Hasselhoff in anything. These performances are like pornography: impossible to describe exactly, but you know it when you see it. And when you see it, its damn freaking hilarious. Pantheon Level: This the championship level of badness. No one can touch Dolph Lundgren, defending champion of bad acting. When your best role is Ivan Drago in "Rocky IV", well, that's sad. Still, if he'd stopped there, all would be forgiven. But Dolph went on to play everyone's favorite Blonde Action Star, He-Man, in "Masters Of The Universe".
I cannot forgive him for forever ruining what had been my favorite cartoon as a kid. That takes bad talent. He single handedly ruined He-Man. Hell, George Clooney tried to ruin Batman, but he failed. Dolph Lundgren, friends. Synonymous with talent. Mad props to Dolph.
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