After the Jays were on the receiving end of a butt-kicking buffet on Saturday -- or a "Poo Sandwich" as I called it at the time -- do you think they had to get on a plane to fly home, or did Bradley simply boot them back to Omaha like a kickball, one after another? Ha.
Anyway, I had to do something. This team clearly had hit rock bottom, and I had to do what I could to help. I grabbed my MacBook and navigated to the Omaha World Herald website, and somewhere amidst the 600 pop-under ad windows (seriously, this has to stop -- those pop-under windows are like digital mosquitos!) I saw that UNO's hockey team was playing their weekend series at the venerable Civic Auditorium because of the state wrestling tournament at the Qwest Center.
Hmm. I immediately began a round of text messaging to see who was game for a little collegiate hockey, and much to my delight, one of my buddies actually had been given free tickets for the game. Row D, right behind the bench no less!
This was not about hockey, though. This was about mojo. Specifically, about a silly fan thinking that by stepping inside the old barn while wearing a Rodney Buford-era Jays MVC Champs t-shirt, he could somehow reverse the team's current slide into a kind of embarrassment not seen since Rick Johnson patrolled the sideline.
You don't have to tell me how ridiculous this notion is, or was. My buddies took care of that already, thank you very much. And as we walked up those seemingly endless ramps that take you from the back door up to the concourse level, the memories flashed back. Rodney's 360-degree dunk during his junior year. Ryan Sears draining threes from the top of the key when the defense dared to leave him open. Ben Walker tossing aside taller defenders like mannequins to rip down a rebound. Doug Swenson literally crapping his pants. Nerijus Karlikanovas, or as we called him back then, Not Vlade Divac. The ridiculous 20-point comeback overtime win against Western Kentucky in 2002. The equally ridiculous 20-point comeback win against first-place Indiana State and the annoying Michael Menser in 2000. The spot on the ramp where my stomach almost spilled onto the floor after the SIU game where Ratface whistled DeAnthony Bowden for a foul with 2-hundreths of a second left in a tie game.
I could feel it. I let my 1999 MVC Champs shirt soak in the mojo for a scientifically-measured length of time -- specifically, the amount of time it took me to drink a glass of beer. And then I removed the shirt to reveal a 2003 MVC Champs shirt underneath, which I also allowed to soak in some old school mojo for the same scientifically-measured length of time. Also, it soaked in some barley, hops and delicious alcohol when the Maverick mascot bumped into my buddy, who in turn bumped into me, spilling my beer on my shirt.
Then I removed that shirt, and put them both in a bag. They will remain in that bag, hermetically sealed in a jar on Funk & Wagnall's front porch, until just before gametime tomorrow. At that time, I will unleash a fury of positive mojo the likes of which you will not be able to properly comprehend until much later. Trust me on this.
You bet.
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