What's 4'1" and wears glasses?
a) a really smart fourth grader
b) Barry Hinson
Sign Guy was in rare form at Tuesday night's game. For those of you who aren't familiar with Sign Guy, he sits about 20 rows behind the visiting bench, and frequently brings blank 20"x30" poster board to the games and then scribbles out signs during the game to hold up during timeouts. From time to time, the fuddy duddies who sit around him complain to the Qwest Center Police -- a band of rogue, glorified mall cops derisively nicknamed the Qwestapo -- and his signs are confiscated.
I had only seen the Barry Hinson sign, so I was appalled when, midway through the second half, the Qwestapo made a big production of confiscating his signs. Seriously, they sent their two biggest guys to carry out this task, probably 600 pounds of muscle to take five or six sheets of poster board. You can't tell me this wasn't for show.
The entire arena erupted in boos of such loudness that several of the Jays players looked back to see what the heck was going on. Hinson looked back too, and the game was going on!
Turns out there was more to it than just some old fogies forcing others to abide by their personal code of conduct. Sign Guy had just held up perhaps his most genius and hilarious sign ever.
You can't spell MECA without ME
To clarify, MECA is the board who manages the Qwest Center and the Convention Center, and to many folks (myself included) are viewed as the people responsible for Omaha's impending loss of the College World Series. Its a pretty involved deal, but essentially as I understand it, the city created MECA to manage the Qwest. The parking lots surrounding the Qwest are owned by the city, and can be taken by the city for future development opportunities. Should they do so, they have to replace the parking spaces, but the lots are theirs to take.
MECA doesn't see it that way. They see themselves as the protector of future Qwest expansion, and ceding those lots to the city narrows their options in the future. The Mayor has said that the city is going to build a ballpark on Lot C; MECA says they will take the city to court if they attempt to do so. Seriously.
Meanwhile, the NCAA says any lawsuit will almost certainly cause them to put the World Series up for bid to other cities. A political power struggle is going to cost the city the College World Series, and a lot of people are pointing the finger at MECA.
Guess who employs the Qwestapo? MECA. Looks like freedom of speech only applies as long as you don't offend the management.
(And yes, I know you cede certain rights by purchasing a ticket and entering the building. But regardless of the legality, doesn't it appear unseemly?)
***
I called my brother after the game and because it was 10:15 pm, I got his voicemail. He's not nearly the night owl that I am, but I digress. "The dream is over, Brother. Some chick lost the Shell Game tonight. Later."
The classic 12-second voicemail. Anyway, I got a call back on Wednesday from him, upset. Why, you ask?
Well, longtime readers no doubt are well aware that his one enduring dream was to be the first person to lose the Shell Game. His reasoning? "No one has ever lost in five years, so people don't even cheer when you win. Its not even noticeable. But if you lost? You'd be legendary. 'Remember the time that poo doofus lost the Shell Game? What an idiot!' It would be LEGENDARY."
Alas.
Lately, I'd taken to holding up four fingers and yelling out "FOUR" during the part of the game where the contestant looks to the crowd for help. This is always hilarious because there are only three shells.
You bet.
***
The "Free Pizza For A Year" promotion is given to a random fan at every game, and gets them 12 coupons for free pies, ostensibly one per month. The only qualification to win is to be alive and present at the game. This promotion should go to a student every game, because A) who eats more pizza than students and B) who can least afford said pizza? Right. But it usually goes to somebody from the hoopdie-doo seats. Of course it does.
Well, on Tuesday, it was given to Miss Nebraska (or Miss Teen Nebraska, or Mrs. Nebraska, or one of those beauty pageant winners that I don't bother familiarizing myself with). A guy behind me yells out during a quiet moment after the announcement, "SHE"S JUST GONNA THROW IT UP ANYWAY!"
Three things.
A) That's wrong on so many levels.
2) Yet its the funniest thing I've heard yelled out at a game in ages.
III) I wish I'd thought of it first, though not necessarily to yell it out myself.
***
Oh by the way, there was a game too. Did I mention that? A pretty damn entertaining game, at that.
Jays won by 21, a sorely needed win. Quick-hit thoughts on the game:
1. P'Allen Stinnett was damn lucky to not have been ejected. In the first half, Stinnett was steamrolled by Deven Mitchell on a fast break, preventing a thundering dunk. Stinnett took offense to what was a hard foul, and told Mitchell he didn't appreciate it. Hard to know what was said between the two players, but things got heated enough that they were both assessed technical fouls. FreddyMac, Administrator for the Bluejay Cafe, summed up the conversation thusly:
I'm actually quite a good lip reader and in my opinion P was totally justified. If I'm not mistaken this is what I saw:
P: "Excuse me old chap but that was a bit of a hard foul."
Mitchell: "Are you a pansy tied to a tree?"
P: "Pardon?"
Mitchell: "Are you a pansy tied to a tree?"
P: "Now that's a bit of an odd question, innit?"
Mitchell: "ARE YOU A PANSY TIED TO A TREE?"
P: "Of course not Mate."
Mitchell: (while running around pointing at P) Pansy on the loose!! Pansy on the loose!!
At that point is when P went a little crazy. Like I said that might not be word for word but that's pretty close to how it went down. For some reason P was speaking with a British accent too.
2. I say that he was lucky not to have been tossed because in the second half, P was at the free throw line and after missing the front end of a two-shot foul, the ball bounced back to him and he threw up a practice shot. Officially, the rule book says this should be assessed as a technical foul...making it his second technical and an automatic ejection. Luckily (and perhaps knowing this), the ref simply warned him not to do it again.
3. The coaches, for the first time all year, scrapped the full court press and went to a 3/4 court or even a straight-up half court defense. The result was a marked improvement in rebounding, due mainly to being in better position.
4. That's not to say they played great defense, because they didn't. For most of the first half, the game was back and forth, and had the Jays not been on fire from the arc, it might have been a very different story.
5. My dad in was town on business, and went to the game with me. Having only seen the Jays once or twice this year, his outsiders opinions were intriguing to me. As the team struggled in the first half, he said they looked "lethargic" and "had no energy, like they collectively hit a wall." He wondered if the Canada trip left them out of gas by this time of the year.
Its a point worth considering. The last Canada trip the Jays took in 2003-04 was the Brody Deren Quitters Anonymous team that literally phoned in the last four weeks of the season. Actually, they phoned in the entire slate after Tyler McKinney got hurt. But regardless of that, their play was noticeably sloppier and less energetic late in the season. Further adding to the analogy, remember Wichita State's disappointing campaign last year? Canada trip before the season. Not sayin', I'm just sayin'.
6. I suspect Jays fans would love it if Cavel Witter gave them anything close to 19 points, 5 boards and 5 assists a game. But he has got to stop it with the stupid, silly turnovers. Dribbling into a double-team and losing the ball only gets more minutes for his counterpart, Josh Dotzler.
7. P'Allen Stinnett had 19 points too, on 6-16 shooting. When was the last time you remember a Jay chucking up 16 shots in a game? Has to be Rodney Buford, doesn't it?
***
POLYFRO LOBSTER COLA PLAYER OF THE GAME: Tonight's player of the game is brought to you by the refreshing taste of Lobster Cola: combining the delicacy of lobster with the refreshing taste of cola, its Lobster Cola!
While Stinnett and Witter were the leading scorers, Dane Watts had the more complete and therefore impressive game. Check out this line: 14 points on 6-8 from the floor, 7 rebounds and four of them offensive, 3 assists, 3 blocks and 4 steals in 30 minutes. Holy frijoles, that's domination.
You bet.
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