I have to be brutally honest with you here. Tonight's game, the second consecutive against a first-year D1 team, does not excite me. In fact, I don't mind tellin' ya I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out a way to properly preview the carnage our eyeballs will endure upon viewing this game. Here's what I came up with:
A few years ago, I went to a graphic design conference in Austin, Texas and a couple of nights before I left, I bought an eight-piece chicken pack from Wal-Mart. I ate half of it, and put the rest in the fridge for later. When I left for Texas, it was still in there, and during the six days I was gone, the power went out in my apartment. When it came back on, the ensuing power surge fried something electrical in the fridge, causing it not to come back on. Everything in the fridge spoled, but the most offensive odor was that chicken.
When I returned to Omaha, I smelled something offensive in the hallway. Assuming it was my neighbors again, I hurried into my unit because it was really bad -- if Andrew Dice Clay was a stench, it would have smelled a lot like that. Because, you know, it started out OK, even mildly amusing for a moment, and then all of a sudden, its hurt just to be around it. Shut up, this analogy will work.
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