Since the Jays/SIU game was a 5pm tip, and I had a lame black-tie event to get to later in the evening that precluded me from either going to the bar to watch the game, or from having a few beers while watching it at home with the guys, I decided to keep a running diary during the telecast. Why? Because I can, and because it costs you nothing to read this stuff, I expect that answer to be sufficient.
You bet.
4:57 p.m. (CT) -- Texas Tech leads Oklahoma State 71-68 with 1:24 left. No way this game gets over in time to see the opening tip of the CU game. Although, ESPN just showed a graphic telling us Bob Knight hasn't lost 5 in a row since 1972, so I fully expect them to blow this lead. Hopefully they can do it in regulation.
5:00 -- ESPN2 runs a crawler saying "Coming Up Next: Creighton vs (20) S. Illinois, tip at 6:05 pm et". So they're delaying the tip in the hopes that Texas Tech can complete their choke in time.
5:01 -- Boggan makes the first free throw to tie the game, and wouldn't you know it, he misses the second, leaving the game tied at 71. ESPN2 shows the "Bob Knight" graphic again. This means there's no chance they make a basket here.
5:02 -- Overtime. Really, that's fantastic. I love listening to one basketball game on the radio while watching another game on TV. Its almost as much fun as putting Drano eye drops into my eyes. And my ears. At the same time.
5:04 -- T.Scott tells us on the radio, "Anthony Tolliver and Randal Falker stand at center court ready to tip it up. Bit of a delay here, as the officials must be waiting for the go signal from TV." Twist the knife. Please. But wait...it gets better! "Mike Sanzere walks to center court and prepares to tip the ball." Mike Ratface Sanzere? Nice. I've been a huge fan of Ratface since he called a foul on DeAnthony Bowden with no time left in a tie game. It was February 3, 2002. The opponent in that game? Southern Illinois. The great thing about Ratface is that he's a devious sort much like Scarface, except instead of guns and cocaine, he has a whistle. I'm a big fan.
5:05 -- ESPN2 comes back from commercial and tells us, "Creighton ready to bring in the Funk, as the Jays and Southern Illinois get ready to tip against Southern Illinois next." You...you are not a good person.
5:06 -- A score bug in the upper-right hand corner of the screen gives us constant scoring updates on the Creighton game. Its like an AnnotatedNotationHelper 3000 for listening to T.Scott's broadcast, which is nice, because he gives the score about as often as Bob Knight has nice things to say about officials. Its also 10 seconds ahead of the radio.
5:09 -- 7-0 Southern Illinois. ESPN2 crawler still mocking me by saying the Creighton game is next. Texas Tech pulling away with 1:47 to go 78-73. Like Meatloaf sang in a song that was #1 the week I was born, "Two outta Three Ain't Bad". And yes, its unclear why I know that, but the fact that it was and that I know that is was probably explain a lot.
5:10 -- 9-3 Southern at the under-16 timeout. And I'm watching Texas Tech take a dump at midcourt, doing everything they can to go to a second overtime. It really cannot be underestimated how awesome this is.
5:12 -- Commercial time on both games, which means I'm listening to T.Scott talk about Fernando's Cafe and Cantina -- "Try the jalapeno poppers, they got a lil' kick to 'em" -- while I watch a commercial about the Varsity Sports and Roman Coin pizza. I miss living across the street from the Varsity. I also miss being able watch the Jays on TV.
5:13 -- Linda Cohn shows us a highlight of Dane Watts getting his shot blocked, apparently by his own teammate. "Anthony Tolliver says get that outta here!" Just kick me in the nuts, ESPN. Seriously. I'm not even wearing a cup. Put on a Pat Benatar album and hit me with your best shot.
5:15 -- In the background during a timeout, I hear "We Ready" playing at Gallagher-Iba Arena. Makes me pine for the days the Qwest Center played the song right before tip. Also makes me pine for the days when my only complaint about a Jays telecast was the color-analysis of Scott Schumacher. I tell you, if the Deathstar Laser Glare that Dana Altman uses with such disturbing regularity against Schumacher could somehow be redirected towards Bristol, or even Stillwater...well, that would be a bit of alright.
5:17 -- Texas Tech leading 83-77 with 43 seconds, but you just know they'll blow it. My buddy Cliff Glypha has maintained for years that Texas is Hell, an assertion I have not shared. If they blow this and keep me from seeing more of the Jays game, I might come around to his way of thinking. MIGHT.
5:18 -- ESPN2 flashes a graphic saying "Creighton vs Southern Illinois coming up next". Never mind the first half is almost 8 minutes old. While this graphic is onscreen, Oklahoma State gets TWO THREE-POINT PLAYS in one possession to tie up what was a six-point lead. In a related story, my left shoe is now located across the room.
5:20 -- Under-12 timeout in Carbondale, and ESPN2 shows a graphic showing the following table: All-Time Winningest Coaches. Bob Knight: 884, Dean Smith: 879, Adolf Rupp: 876. Strangely, under the table, there is this note: "Times Knight's Team Pissed Away a lead TWICE and pre-empted the following telecast: 19". Strange they would show that.
5:23 -- Double Overtime. I hate Cisco for sponsoring this game, I hate ESPN2 for broadcasting a game so that some channel that wouldn't pre-empt it couldn't show the entire game, I hate Kay Jewelers for the stupid commercial with the guy giving his wife a ring on Valentine's Day that is on as I type this, I hate Valentine's Day, I hate the State Farm commercial with the guy trying to start the wave by himself that is now on. And now that the second overtime is starting, I hate myself too. I probably hate you too, so don't push it bucko.
5:25 -- 16-11 Southern at the 11:38 mark. I get a call from my brother, who is at a bar in a Sioux Falls mall watching the game while his wife shops with her family. Satellite apparently has an alternate ESPN2 channel which is showing the game. Add him to the list of things I hated two minutes ago.
5:27 -- Oklahoma State pulling away. Great, now I can watch them blow a lead, go to a third overtime and hear the announcers talk about this game being a classic. Seriously, go to hell. Or Texas. Whichever is warmest or most inconvenient, whichever is closer.
5:28 -- 18-16 Southern at the 9:44 mark. I have now officially missed 1/4 of the game. Why does ESPN schedule games so closely? You would think the "viewers lost due to gaps in programming" would be offset by the "angry mobs of fans missing the first 12 minutes of their game". But then again, I'm not so good at math, so its possible the numbers of people in group 2 don't actually cancel out the numbers in group 1. I'd like to think so, though.
5:30 -- Zales is using a Michelle Branch song to sell diamonds. KFC is using Lynyrd Skynyrd to sell Buffalo Snackers. Linda Cohn is showing highlights of Randal Falker dunking over Manny Gakou as ESPN2 comes out of the commercial. In a related story, my right shoe joins my left one on the other side of the room.
5:32 -- T.Scott says, "Terrible call. For those of you watching at home, you know what we're talking about." Dude...never mind.
5:34 -- 24-17 Southern at the under-8 timeout. I console myself with the knowledge that when this game is inevitably replayed 9000 times on ESPNU and ESPN Classic, the scoring bug with "CREI" and "SIU" will be in the upper-right hand corner of the screen every time. This of course also means that in 2015 when I stumble across the game at 2:30 in the morning, I will be glad there are no sharp objects in my house.
5:37 -- Don't foul. Don't foul. Don't foul. Damn you!
5:39 -- Call timeout. Call timeout. Call timeout. F***, it doesn't work in reverse, either.
5:40 -- 25-20 SIU, 6:18 to go. I really think ESPN2 should go to commercial after this game so we miss even more, and then catch us up on what we missed by showing highlights where Linda Cohn tells us about Antonio Tolliver and Josh Dottsler just to piss me off further. Not because she would butcher the names, but because in so doing, we would miss even more of what they were trying to make up for us missing in the first place. Or something like that.
5:41 -- Game over. 93-91 Oklahoma State in Double Overtime.
5:42 -- Ah, I never thought I would be so happy to see Carbondale! Its such a lovely place, you know? The old saying is true, you don't know what you have until its gone! The telecast begins with Shaw driving the lane and drawing a block on Tolliver. And I'm upset but finally for all the right reasons. That feels better.
5:44 -- Commercial time, 27-21 SIU at the 3:36 mark. Way to show 90 seconds of a game and then go right to a commercial, really, that's dominant. In a related story, I hear ESPN666 is launching later this spring -- they show every game for your favorite team, but the game before it always runs long so they join your game late. Then they cut away from your game early to show the start of the next game. I can't wait for this to appear in my digital cable lineup.
5:46 -- Stephan Bardo, doing the commentary today, just openly admitted to being an SIU fan. I need a nickname for this guy. And not a nice one.
5:47 -- "Nick Porter, like NWA goin' Straight Outta Compton on that drive to the hole!" And like all creative breakthroughs, the nickname appears out of thin air: Ladies and Gentlemen, its Shecky Bardo with the one-liner! Keep it coming! (Not really. I'm being facetious. One guy like Shecky Greene was enough.)
5:49 -- "Tony Young has the presence of mind to not make up his mind on this play." Shecky, Shecky, Shecky. Wow.
5:50 -- ESPN2 tells us Florida-Kentucky is on at 8pm. Any way this game can go 9 overtimes so we can pre-empt them?
5:51 -- Shecky Bardo says the refs need to "huddle up the players to tell them they want them to stay in the game, but we have to call it when you foul". What, SIU, foul on every play? That's crazy talk! "I don't see the contact! We're going to have to suit up, Terry, if these keep getting called as fouls!" You so funny, Shecky!
5:54 -- Josh Dotzler with the steal under the basket! Shecky's attempt at impartiality: "I know the fans don't like it, but that's good aggressive defense!"
5:55 -- Red Bull Flugtag! Driving self-built, self-designed vehicles off a platform into a lake? And I'm not involved in this why? Sounds like half as fun and just as painful as driving the lane against SIU.
5:56 -- Shecky ignores my pleading to stop the one-liners. "Nate Funk, in honor of Parliament Funkadelic, rises up and brings out the Funk!" The best part of this is that halftime is just 20 seconds away, so Shecky has 15 minutes to come up with all new cheap one-liners in the extraordinarily likely scenario that he's used up all his cheap one-liners in the game so far. Its 37-35 SIU at the half, and this is not bad -- the Jays are in the game, they seem to have played fairly well, and everything you hope for against SIU is happening. Namely, the refs are calling a close game, and the Jays playing well enough to take advantage of it.
5:58 -- Linda Cohn tells us, "In one of the best games of the year, Oklahoma State beats Texas Tech. Unfortunately, just like Snakes on a Plane, it went on about 42 minutes too long." Or maybe I'm imagining this. I'm not even sure anymore.
5:59 -- "ESPN2's exclusive coverage of College Basketball is brought to you by Dodge." Thanks for that, ESPN2. Thanks for your exclusive coverage of 4 minutes of basketball. I've had dumps that lasted longer than your coverage of the first half of this game.
6:02 -- Have the "Greg Oden looks like he's 35!" jokes gotten old yet? Of course not. At least not until he looks like he's 36 in about three months, at which time I will make the comment "Have the Greg Oden looks like he's 36 gotten old yet?". You bet.
6:03 -- For the 900th time since I turned on the Deuce, I hear about two Gonzaga players being arrested for possession of Marijuana and Psychedelic Mushrooms. I love that they keep referring to it as "psychedelic mushrooms". That's somehow really hilarious to me, and I have no idea why. I'm close enough to 30 that I shouldn't giggle at these things, but I can't help it.
6:05 -- "Stunning news from Stillwater -- the referees have decided a third overtime needs to be played due to a blown call down the stretch! That overtime will start at the exact same time as the second half of the game we're supposed to be showing, Creighton and Southern Illinois...Porcupine, Porcupine, you are not going to marry a girl from Little Egypt..." Ah, wha, what...oh, sorry, I dozed off there. Nightmares, porcupines, Falkers. Never mind. Just a nightmare.
6:08 -- Pedro Cerrano just told me that changing my pants while driving is, apparently, dangerous. Dangerously Awesome!
6:12 -- Southern Illinois begins the second half with all five starters with 2 fouls. It appears Mike Ratface Sanzere is attempting to make up for his bush-league reffing during the CU-SIU game in February of '02. Keep it up, Ratface. Have I mentioned I'm a big fan?
6:14 -- 77-3 at home in their last 80 games for SIU. The last time a team of goons had this kind of success on their home turf, eventually the IRS had to bring them down when the FBI couldn't "prove" anything. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.
6:17 -- "These Saluki players play like they belong on the gridiron, not the hardcourt!" Shecky with another one-liner!
6:18 -- Isacc Miles with a fantastic steal, anticipating the passing lane, and then he gets baptized into the SIU style of fastbreak by getting blasted under the basket. He misses the front-end of a one-and-one.
6:19 -- Manny Gakou with two fouls in 60 seconds, followed by the first appearance of the Manny Gakou Face today. "What did I do, coach?" The next offensive possession, he travels with the ball, makes the Manny Gakou face again, and is rewarded with the ultimate indignity: being subbed for with Pierce Hibma.
6:21 -- Terry Gannon tells us, "Young just ripped the arms off of Nate Funk and no one saw it!" Shecky agrees. "That was an unbelievable no-call." Funk shrugs and tells Young, "Tis but a flesh wound. Stand and fight, you coward!"
6:23 -- Gannon tells us, "Funk up to his old tricks, rising up for the jumper!" Shecky, not to be outdone, responds, "I can smell that from here, that was so Funk!" Gannon encourages him. "You've got a lot more of those, don't you? Hopefully we'll go overtime so you can get them all out." Please God no. Just stop.
6:26 -- Dane Watts pulls the Karl Malone move -- body-ing up on a post player, getting him to lean into you, then backing off so you fall on your ass. I miss Karl Malone. The Mailman was as cheap as a 39 cent stamp. And if you're scoring at home, I am now one bad one-liner from having to refer to myself as "Sheckyfro".
6:27 -- Josh Dotzler with a steal, making it 5 of the last 6 SIU possessions ending in a turnover, and Creighton leads 49-44 with 12:50 to go. Chris "ReRun" Lowery calls timeout, SIU Arena is silent, and it warms the heart.
6:31 -- ESPN2 shows a shot of a poorly painted, gray-haired student with "So Ill" painted on his chest, and Terry Gannon says "Just your typical student at Southern Illinois." No comment.
6:33 -- "Nick Porter sayin' I might be Compton, but I got soul, goin' strong to the hole!" Shecky needs to be stopped now. These one-liners are making me feel like Ghost Rider. "I'm good, I feel like my skull is on fire, but I'm good." 51-47 Jays with 11 and change to go.
6:35 -- Nick Porter gets tackled, a foul is called, and the fans boo as though its a bad call. Wow. 53-47 Jays.
6:37 -- A shot of Dana Altman reveals where the Jays broadcast crew is sitting -- directly behind him. It has to be difficult to be critical of the team when you're sitting that close. Oh, wait.
6:38 -- "Wow, Tony Young just smacks Nate Funk in the FACE, and no call!" -- Shecky decides to do his Rick James impersonation, and I'm not amused. Tony Young: "Nate, what did the five fingers say to the face? SMACK!"
6:40 -- Tolliver absolutely blasts Falker with his shoulder, knocking him back about six inches and ultimately onto his butt. Foul? Absolutely. Enjoyable? You bet. Unfortunate momentum turn? Yeah, probably. An SIU three-ball makes it 53-52.
6:41 -- Terry Gannon with some truth. "Young with a foul on Funk, but he can't be upset, he's gotten away with three of 'em."
6:42 -- Falker with his fourth foul at the 8:23 mark. To the bench, and its 56-52 Jays.
6:43 -- Shecky once again says the officials need to pull the players together to tell them to stop fouling or else there will be no one left. Wow. If SIU doesn't understand that the refs are not allowing them to play their basketbrawl style today by the 8-minute mark of the second half, that's their own fault. 56-55 Jays at the under-8 timeout, with three SIU starters on the bench with 4 fouls. This is looking like the end of the 7-game losing streak to SIU could be ending tonight.
6:46 -- Dotzler throws it away. 58-57 Jays with 7 to go. Ten seconds later, Dotzler with a foul. Tolliver comes in for him. Odd substitution...
6:48 -- Jays are shooting 19-26 from the charity stripe. That could come back to bite them. You have to make your free throws in close games, especially on the road. Meanwhile, SIU hits two free throws to go ahead 59-58. Fifteen seconds later, Miles misses the front end of a one-and-one. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.
6:50 -- Salukis on the run. Funk gets a shot blocked, SIU runs and hits a bucket, and suddenly its 63-58 SIU. ESPN2's cameras show a student with a sign that has Nate Funk and the GEICO caveman on it, and it says "Losing to SIU...So easy, a caveman could do it." Nate Funk looks like a caveman? Whaaaaat?
6:53 -- Watts misses the front end of a one-and-one. Dammit! On the fastbreak, Tatum hits a jumper and its 65-58. This game is slipping away...
6:54 -- Watts nails a threeball! You bet! And just like that, its 65-61. Watts is playing with the flu, supposedly, but he has had a huge game.
6:55 -- The Pro Bowl is tied 14-14 at the half. Just thought you might be curious.
6:56 -- "Tolliver with a 3.5 in Finance...typically money guys don't like to get their hands dirty, but not Tolliver." Shecky keeps bringin' the fastball!
6:57 -- SIU with a shot-clock violation to go to the under-four timeout leading 67-63. Down 4 with 3:12 to go, and three SIU starters with 4 fouls. There's a chance here.
6:58 -- "Do you remember when we learned too much of anything is a bad thing?" Wait, when did Jamal Tatum's hair get a Guinness commercial? During this commercial break, we also see the Wolfson's ad where Old Man Wolfson never once looks into the camera while sitting in the front seat of a convertible that is much nicer than anything you'd ever buy from his used car lot. Never fails to be absolutely hilarious, never disappoints.
7:01 -- Xavier and George Washington get the Texas Tech treatment: ESPN2 runs a crawler saying "Coming up Next: Xavier at George Washington, Tip at 8:05 ET" How you like them apples?
7:02 -- Big Shot Watts with another big one, and its 67-65 with 1:40 to go.
7:03 -- Mullins fouls out. Porter to the line, who never misses free throws in the clutch, unless its in Des Moines and I've just told my buddy John how he never misses throws in the clutch...but this isn't Des Moines, its Carbondale, and Porter hits 'em both. Its 67-all with 1:12 to go.
7:04 -- Watts with a steal, but SIU gets it back in the scrum for the ball. Dammit. Might be the first time all night SIU tackled a CU player and it WASN'T a foul. SIU ball, tie game, 61 seconds left.
7:05 -- Tony F'ing Young hits a big jumper, 69-67 SIU. Jeebuz, how many shots has Southern missed in this half? I can only think of one. That's crazy. Who misses just one shot in a half?
7:06 -- "Gets in the lane, and its one nation, under a groove!" That's how Shecky describes Funk getting MAULED by Falker, who fouls out on a forearm shiver that would made Jimmy Superfly Snuka proud. Funk misses the front-end, makes the second, and its 69-68.
7:07 -- FOUL! FOUL SOMEONE! ANYONE! THE CLOCK IS GOING TO RUN OUT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! AHHHHRGGGGH!
7:08 -- Boyle, a backup playing because Falker is fouled out, hits one of two. Creighton decides not to call timeout! They're running! Chaos on the court, the defense is scrambling, Funk drives the lane, the ball is stripped! Noooooooo! Porter gets the ball, shoots, and misses a layup! Nooooo! I know this is Altman's theory, because the defense isn't set and you might be able to surprise them, but I have to disagree. Call timeout, draw up a play. You spend 39 minutes and change coaching and on the biggest possession, you sit back and tell the guys to win it on their own? Seems a bit incongruous.
7:09 -- Crowd is chanting "Creighton Sucks...Creighton Sucks". Even after winning 8 straight, it still means enough to them to beat Creighton that their fans need to tell us we suck afterward. So we have that going for us.
7:11 -- Game over, SIU wins 72-68.
Postgame -- Well, everything you would think Creighton needed to have happen to get a win in Carbondale happened. The refs called a tight game, forcing the Salukis out of their rhythm and putting their stars on the bench for extended stretches due to foul trouble. Creighton outrebounded them, outassisted them, turned it over fewer times, had more steals, shot the ball well, and led for big stretches of the second half.
But -- and this is a big BUT -- Southern Illinois set a new Missouri Valley record by shooting 85.7% in the second half. They only missed 2 shots in the entire second half, and barely won at home. Creighton played well, folks. SIU just made a couple more plays down the stretch, with the home crowd giving them the juice to put them over the top.
In the end, the one thing Creighton didn't do well -- make free throws -- was their downfall. They missed the front end of a one-and-one four times. They were 22-32 for the game, and that's just not gonna get it done. If they make even half of the 10 they missed, they win this game. Think about that.
So its a frustrating loss to a Top-25 team on their homecourt. But the Jays come home 11-4 in the league, in sole possession of second place, and 17-7 overall, with 3 of their final 4 games at home. As long as they can protect the homecourt, they will get the 2 seed in St. Louis and all but assure themselves of an NCAA Tourney bid before Arch Madness. Good stuff.
You bet.
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