Turn Back The Clock days are commonplace in the NBA. They're a fun novelty event for the whole family: teams in vintage uniforms, retro prices on food and drinks, and sometimes they even deck the arena out to "look" retro. But the changes are cosmetic: the rules don't change, and the game is still the same.
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The Missouri Valley Conference tournament was host to a Turn Back The Clock weekend this past week, and apparently forgot to send the memo out. And the changes were not cosmetic in nature: the uniforms, prices and arena were still very much present-day. The three point shot was still in effect, the shot clock was in place, and the players were not in canvas Chuck Taylors. No, the changes this weekend were in the games themselves. And the games were some of the worst college basketball I've seen in years. The entire weekend was filled with games played in the 40s, hand checks, chest bumps, grabbing, pushing, and turnovers. What it wasn't filled with was any semblance of offensive flow, competant shooting, or made baskets. Folks, its an old cliche and a redundant one at that, but it certainly applies here: the only thing offensive this weekend was the offense.
Seriously, does anyone want to watch these slugfests? It used to be Southern Illinois was the only team that played this rough, physical brand of ball in the Valley. But this weekend, everyone co-opted that style, and it wasn't pretty.
For the tournament, the league shot a combined 38% from the field. From beyond the arc, the teams combined to shoot 25%. To use a non-basketball analogy, that's roughly the same percentage I hit at the "Knock Out The Clown's Teeth With This Ball" carnival game at Worlds of Fun -- when I'm blindfolded and drunk, that is. 1 out of four. To use a halftime-entertainment analogy, the guy from the ConAgra Foods Shootout who wan't even trying because he planned to use the stage to propose to his girlfriend made 25% just by tossing balls at the hoop randomly. And he was wearing an ill-fitting and not-very-fashionable bear face sweatshirt. Good lord. Suddenly the MVC has become the loathesome NBA minus the acrobatic dunks and posses.
The worst offender in this charade passed off as basketball was the game involving our own Bluejays. For the game on Friday, the Jays and Bradley combined to shoot -- are you ready for this? -- 6 for 41 from three-point range. SIX FOR FORTY-ONE!
I was embarrassed for the league as I watched each and every one of these games, because I know that the Valley is better than this. I also know that as it gets more competitive, and more like the "Big Six", its games will look more and more like this. As the season draws down in the Big Ten and Big XII, and especially in their tournaments, the games often bog down to these wrestling matches as well. But they're used to it, expect it, and are able to shoot a reasonable percentage from the floor. I don't care what you tell me, a game played in the 40s is not a defensive struggle. Its bad basketball.
What kills me is that I've been a close follower of Valley basketball for a decade-plus now, and this Turn-Back-The-Clock style of play is not indicative of how the league is capable of performing. Its just a shame that on their biggest stage, in front of more national media than ever, under the glare of an increasingly bright spotlight and on a network for the first time ever, the league produced arguably its worst brand of basketball since the two-handed set shot was en vogue.
Trust me, CBS, USA Today, New York Times, LA Times and Sports Illy, this ain't what Valley Basketball usually looks like. Come back next year and we'll show you.
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