I was talking to a co-worker over IM on Tuesday, and as I am the foremost Creighton Hoops expert within the walls of our office, he wanted to ask me about the Open House. Before you ask, there's only 34 people in our office, so possessing the title of Foremost Expert about Creighton Hoops is not exactly the sort of thing one brags about owning.
I also own the title of Foremost Expert about Jack Welch's Management Techniques, which stems entirely from reading his column on the inside back page of Business Week in the company bathroom. So it goes without saying that these titles are not exactly hard to attain. My goal is to one day become the Foremost Expert on Getting Candy out of the Vending Machine without having the wrapper get caught on the claw inside the machine. Hey, we all gotta have goals, don't judge me because mine are more modest than yours. It will be a great day when I spend 50 cents on a Three Musketeers bar and it doesn't dangle perilously from the metal slinky-like mechanism that dispenses the candy. And frankly, I'm tired of yelling lines from the Kiefer Sutherland version of The Three Musketeers from 1991 every time the candy gets stuck, so this goal needs to be attained ASAP.
Nonetheless, this co-worker wanted to know about the Open House, because he was under the impression it would be a lot like college football "Spring Games". While I agree it would be dominant to see a two-hour "Blue-White Scrimmage", that's not what the Open House is about. Near as I can tell, its about allowing the 500 Super Hard Core Die-Hard Fans to attend a practice. Equally important, its practice for us, too: not just anyone can fork over $6 for a beer without practicing handing over that money. It takes practice so that your game face is ready, and you don't revile in horror when the cashier asks for the money. This is important stuff.
Hearing that the Open House was really just practice, the co-worker replied, "Practice? We're talking about Practice? Practice!" I said, "Oh, are you trying to be clever by dropping an Iverson reference? Yeah, you are not The Answer."
I digress.
Continue reading At the Open House.
