Results tagged “Arkansas Pine-Bluff” from Jays Blog

Prior to Thursday nights game, we went to dinner at a downtown establishment. I drank a Bud Light, ate a burger, and enjoyed some chips. When we got to the game, I enjoyed two glasses of Pabst Blue Ribbon. As for the game itself, there were 48 turnovers and 50 fouls.

Why do I tell you these things? Because something in the above paragraph made me queasy, and I'm honestly not sure what. It could have been any or all of the above; its up for debate, honestly. What's known for sure is that with 7:19 to play in the game, my stomach started speaking in unrecognizable tongues. These were not the dog whistle-esque rumblings that only people with ears attuned to a certain frequency can hear, either -- my buddy sitting next to me heard it, asked if I was alright, and was concerned for the continuation of my life precious when I dropped my beer to the ground and literally ran up the steps to the concourse while the game continued behind me. I spent the next several minutes in a vortex between Earth and some nether region, only vaguely aware of my surroundings.

Its at this point that I would like to apologize to anyone who happened upon the men's bathroom by the Wild Kingdom display at any point from the 6 minute mark until the final horn. If it makes you feel any better, know that a potential clothing disaster was averted, and that the Atomic Dump did not exit stage right too soon.

You think I'm making this up, but its true. And while it takes a big man to admit to having this happen to them, it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. So congratulations, big man.

Mercifully, the Jays did not play the Golden Lions of Arkansas Pine-Bluff last year. Two years ago, the Jays defeated them 74-39, and after watching their atrocious attempt at "playing basketball", I declared the Golden Lions to be The Worst Team Ever. You might have blocked out the reasons why I made such a bold declaration, and I wouldn't blame you if you did. Here's what I wrote after the game:

The Golden Lions shot 20.6 percent from the field, a new Qwest Center low. But this does not do their tremendous effort justice. They missed their first 17 shots of the second half, and at that point (the 8-minute mark), their shooting percentage for the game was -- this is not a typo -- 17%. 7 for their first 41 shots went in. The score was 28-16 at the half, and when they finally scored another point on a free throw at the 12:41 mark, it was 47-16. That's a 19-0 run, folks. Better yet, by the time their first field goal went in at the 8:17 mark, it was 56-21.

At the 2 minute warning, the Golden Lions had 29 points. That's right, in 38 minutes of basketball, they managed 29 points. Awesome. A late flurry against the mop-up squad got them 10 points in 2 minutes, and no doubt made the flight back to Arkansas a lot easier to stomach.

I don't know about you, but it kind of makes me excited to see what they do for a follow up. Maybe they'll miss their first 20 shots of the second half. Easy shooter, don't mock them...everyone has to have goals, no matter how modest.


Arkansas Pine-Bluff is a Division I school, but they exist in a different reality from much of the rest of D1. The Golden Lions will not play a home game until January when they open conference play, and are in the midst of an 11-city road trip that started last week and ends in 2009. Along the way, they'll take on Colorado, Texas A&M, Missouri, Georgia Tech, Purdue, Nebraska, and tonight, Creighton.

Their athletic director makes no bones about it: they're taking the idea of guarantee games to a new level. He told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette that they're "kind of stuck in that vicious cycle. The men's basketball makes so much money through guaranteed games that to sustain a budget, it's kind of the only way possible. They have to take one for the team."