Remember back in school when they would do fire drills? Or for those of us in the midwest, tornado drills? Always ridiculous, but hey, anything to get out of class for a while, right? Kids need direction, because they’re not mature enough to get to safety on their own accord.
Well, we had a tornado drill this morning at the office. In a professional environment. I don’t know about my co-workers, but I can get myself to safety in a tornado without a drill to practice how to do it.
So when they made the announcement “The National Weather Service has issued a Tornado Warning — All Employees Report to your designated shelter immediately!”, I of course headed for the break room. There, I purchased a can of pop, grabbed a donut, glanced at the paper, and moseyed on over to the mailroom to report for the drill. At the doorway, I found our safety manager standing there like a track coach, whistle around his neck and stopwatch in hand.
“174 seconds, Univers. You would be dead!”
Archive for » March, 2005 «
What’s the name of that one show on TLC? While you were out, or something? well, that’s my house this week.
A crew of workers is arriving this morning to decorate the house while I’m at the office. Except instead of decorating at their whim, they will be doing as I instruct.
OK, the crew is my family. But they will be making the place very colorful. I’m talking accent walls, shelving, hanging of paintings, and other tasks I could very easily do myself, but have been offered the opportunity not to have to. Which I of course accepted.
You bet.
I have changed my mind so many times on which walls to paint and what color to paint them that even I’m confused now. But I’m buying paint tonight so the decision is very close to being final. Pictures will follow later this week.
That’s right. I got locked out of my own freaking house Friday night.
I get home, right, and I pull The Colorado into the garage. I close the garage door, and go upstairs, turn on the oven to preheat it for a pizza, and go out the front door to get my mail from the corner. I’m only going to be gone for a minute.
Right.
As far as I know, the house that I purchased is on Camden Ave. Which is kinda cool, you know, like Camden Yards where the Orioles play and stuff. But if you believe the street signs, I live on Candem Avenue. Which is, well, nothing.
That’s right. The good ol’ City of Omaha misspelled the street name on the signs! And not just on one — on all of them! The one in front of my house says Candem Ave, and the one on the cul-de-sac at the end of the street — the one pictured above — says Candem Cir. Wow.
(Now, you may be saying, but Max, you’re a graphic designer, you must have taken the sign photo into Photoshop and made it say that. Well, you’ll just have to take my word as my bond that the photo is unaltered, other than some cropping to get it framed a little better.)
People keep asking for a photo of the house. Here ya go. Taken by someone, I can’t remember who, in front of the “Sold” sign on the foundation as construction was commencing. Just look at that magical mountain of hair. Oooh.
Its been one week since the move and I still can’t believe I own a freaking house. I mean, OWN IT. Meaning I can do whatever I want to it. But the first order of business is unpacking and finding my own stuff. Its all in boxes in the basement bedroom at the moment. I keep needing things, only to remember oh yeah, its in a box somewhere.
A man’s got to have priorities. Sure, I could have put my closet away so I could find my clothes. Or I could have put away my bathroom stuff. But I did not. Priorities is the name of the game. That’s why Sunday night, the first project I tackled was hooking up the Video Game Room — the main room in the basement, which now features an old school Nintendo, a PS2, an XBOX, and an old original playstation, which isn’t hooked up, but I had an open shelf and it looked pretty good sitting there, so it is. There is also a digital cable box down there, so when you’re tired of playing and want to watch TV, but you’re too lazy to walk up 10 steps to get upstairs to the living room, you can still pick from 200 channels. Yes, its a waste to pay for two cable boxes for one person. And yes, I don’t give a damn.