Speaking of me being stupid, I tuned into the ol’ Alamo Bowl last night to see how ESPN would handle the battle of the OSU’s. This was their solution:
Kind of disappointing; they took the obvious approach and changed the abbreviation for both teams. OK ST vs OH ST. I was really hoping they would choose sides. Imagine the losing coach telling the media it was ESPN’s fault for changing their name from OSU to something else. That would have been a classic moment.
“we would have won if it wasn’t for those bastard graphics people down in the truck. We were 8-0 with OSU as our abbreviation this year. I don’t know how they sleep at night.”
You’re telling me this wouldn’t be great television? I would immediately grant it “Save Until I Delete” status on my TiVo.
Archive for » December, 2004 «
Labor Day weekend, my brother and I started a rather ridiculous contest. The first one to get a haircut had to buy beer for the winner for a night. I was fairly confident I would win; he’s married and I figured his wife would tire of his long hair and force him to cut it. But they were equally confident; his wife didn’t think I had the will to go an extended period of time without a haircut.
By Thanksgiving, almost three months had passed, and we were both sporting almost three inches of growth. His gets curly, almost like a wig. Mine is straight as a prude. My friends were dubious of the length — I was using quite a bit of product to make it seem shorter than it actually was. The back is oblivious to product, though, and by early December it was starting to go down the road to mullet town.
When we returned home for Christmas last week, the longest hairs on my head were measured at 4 1/8″. Just a big bushy mop. I was on the way to looking like the fifth Beatle. Or since two of them have kicked the bucket, the replacement third Beatle.
But Matt? Oho, his wife forced him to get a haircut so that he would look nice for the holiday!
…when its a four day week? They don’t teach you these things in college. But I want to know. These things are important. Much moreso than what some dude named Plato wrote 2000 years ago.
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“Mean Girl” queen Lindsay Lohan’s peeps have been peddling the hard partyin’ hottie to the skin sultans at Playboy, reports say.
But just days after Lohan’s managers pitched Playboy, they back-peddled, saying their girl has a ‘no nudity’ clause in her Disney contract that extends through the release of “Herbie: Fully Loaded.”
I hate Disney. Not Buffalo Bill “I put the lotion in the basket” hatred, but still.
No Nudity, but apparently mostly nude is OK. Recent Entertainment Weekly photo shoot proves it. Yep, Disney sucks.
“I reached the point in my life where I ask, ‘what did I do this for?’. You forget about the fights and you forget about all the training. But I guess I’m fortunate. I’ve never had to wait in line for anything and I’ve always been able to get a good-looking girlfriend. I don’t know about quality, but they were nice looking.”
-Mike Tyson
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Christmas back home was, as usual, a bountiful plethora of sustenance, beverages, and gifts. As usually happens when I’m back home, I ran into people I went to high school with, and I got the pleasure of puffing out my chest with the bravado of a world champion wrestler. But its not really bragging.
It goes like this: I’ll be at the mall, and some dude I went to school with will want to chat. It will be the first conversation we’ve ever had that was longer than “Hey” or “What’s up”. No matter what I say, it will be construed as bragging — anyone who has the nerve to leave town and make something of themselves is a sellout and obviously thinks they’re too good for them. So I tell them what I’ve made for myself here in Omaha.
The downside to this is that the word is out in town about those of us who “got out”. When we come back, the girls looking for some pants to ride out of town on (or in) will strike up conversations post haste. Its so terribly obvious what their intentions are, and these girls are absolutely repellent; the Deep Woods Off of ladies; the moldy bread of, ahhem, right.
But I didn’t come here to tell you that. You wanted to hear about Christmas. So on to Christmas!
Many times in life, there is a wild card. A dark horse. An unexpected contender. The thing you don’t see coming.
In that vein, I present:
THE CHEVROLET COLORADO LS
Every boy dreams of owning a really fast sports car. Every boy dreams of owning a badass pickup truck.
In my 26 years, I’ve already fulfilled the first part of that dream. Why not take care of the second?
I’ve admired the Chevy Colorado from afar since its introduction in 2004. Its a refined and updated replacement for the venerable S-10. Chevy trucks are, like my main man Bob Seger says, “Like A Rock”. You can virtually drive the damn things into the ground before they die. I decided I must try to do that.